The Fourth “F”: When Fibbing Is a Nervous System Response (Part 2)

Jun 5

chalk board picture of a head colored in white with arrows coming out of it

By Erin Clarelli Ms. OTR/L & Jessica Jordan, MS. OTR/L

Supporting a child who fibs out of fear or overwhelm means giving them tools to recognize what’s happening internally and scaffolding the skills they need to grow.

Below are gentle, OT-informed strategies that can help kids build self awareness, emotional regulation, and accountability.

Metacognitive & Socratic Questioning

Encourage awareness of their fibs by helping them become more aware of themselves and their thoughts. Ask reflective, open ended questions that gently guide them toward their own insights and understanding.

Lead with Curiosity, Not Judgement

Rather than jumping to conclusions, model curiosity. Try asking questions like, “Is there something you were worried about?” This invites emotional safety and helps uncover what fear or discomfort may have led to the fibbing.

Build in Opportunities for Accountability

Give them extra chances to self monitor and reflect. This might look like revisiting the situation together with calm, kind accountability: “Let’s think through what happened and what we can learn.”

Encourage Help Seeking

Remind them that there is nothing wrong with asking for help or advice from others. Whether they need support staying honest, managing a tricky situation, or navigating emotions, normalize reaching out for guidance.

Make Space for Time

Let them know they don’t have to answer right away. Creating permission for pause “You can take a moment to think before you answer” helps reduce impulsive fibbing and gives the nervous system a moment to settle.

Supporting Growth, Not Shame

Our goal is to help children move from fibbing out of fear to truth telling from a place of safety. When we support their nervous system needs, we nurture honesty, trust, and emotional growth.

If your child frequently fibs under pressure and you’re unsure how to respond, we’re here to help. At SUNRISE Therapies, we offer private coaching calls, in-person occupational therapy, and a caregiver course, all designed to support families navigating tough moments with confidence and care.

References
Monica Hassall, R.N., and M.Ed. Barbara Hunter. “Fight, Flight, Freeze... or Fib?” ADDitude, 25 Apr. 2023, www.additudemag.com/why-lie-adhd-fight-flight-freeze/.

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